While the zombie invasion still seems to be put on hold, the pumpkin pawns have been sent forth to be slaughtered mercilessly. I’ve always wondered if Billy Corgan gets excited by the sight of pumpkins strewn across pumpkin lots…I’d imagine there’s a sledge hammer under his bed that he thinks talks to him. “Smash pumpkins, smash pumpkins.”

I, on the other hand have never wanted to wreak havoc upon the hapless squashes also known as The Pumps…those guys look so relaxed hanging out at Whole Foods, why should I be the one that takes away their joy? I just want to poke out their eyes.