Worst Horror Movie Remakes
Hollywood loves remaking old movies. I could list countless of remade films, including upcoming ones such as Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Wolf Man. Some of Hollywood’s update on classic films end up being better than the original, some are just a great, and others, unfortunately taint the image of the original. What follows is a list of the top five worst horror remakes…
5. The Ring
Yes, I’m in the minority when it comes to this film. Despite the memorable opening scene, the movie just doesn’t do much for me afterwards. It becomes a convoluted mess of evil girls, wells, videotapes and mental institutions. Perhaps it could be that the Americanized version of the Japanese film, takes away the intrigue of the story for me. I felt the same way about The Grudge so maybe that might be it.
4. Halloween
If I sound like I’m complaining, I apologize in advance. Let me start off by saying that I respect Rob Zombie and the films he’s made, when I heard he was “reimagining” John Carpenter’s 1978 classic film, I was pretty excited. Instead of something new, we get more of the usual Zombie film making: trashy, profanity-filled and graphically violent. Now, the idea of going into Michael Myer’s childhood was an interesting idea, it was tarnished by the notion that he came from a trailer trash upbringing. What made the original such an amazing movie was the suspense, this aura of paranoia and a sense of real fear; what we get here is a Jason movie disguised as a Michael Myers movie. Michael Myers is no lumbering madman; he’s the “boogeyman” – the shape of evil. If I wanted to watch a Jason movie, well then I’d throw on a Friday the 13th film. I guess you can say I’m somewhat biased with the original film.
3. Black Christmas
Like Rob Zombie’s Halloween, this remake takes what made the original so great and warps it out to something as cliched as what the genre is usually ridiculed for. While the 1974 original was wonderfully suspenseful and paced, we’re treated to the lovely coeds (Lacey Chabert and Mary Elizabeth Winstead being just two of them) sitting around for about an hour or so until they become systematically knocked off within a ten minute time frame (I kid you not). Throw in a silly mom/son incest back story and you have a yuletide film worth showing the entire family. Not really.
2. When A Stranger Calls
The opening scene in the 1979 original is regarded as one of the scariest scenes in horror film history. Unfortunately, this remake does not come anywhere close to that territory. Not even the adorable Camilla Belle or the menacing Thomas Flanagan can do anything to save this film. What we get is the babysitter getting harassing phone calls, the reveal that he’s in the house (if I just spoiled it for you, it’s a well known urban legend, look it up) and a chase scene. That’s it.
1. Psycho
Um, how can I put this nicely? Trying to make a shot for shot remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1960 classic was a horrible idea. The worse part of the whole thing is that the movie actually has the audacity to sully the original’s good name by adding something that shouldn’t be there during the “Peeping Tom” scene. While I understand that they were trying to update this for the modern generation, sometimes you should just let well enough alone. One last thing, nobody can replace Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates. Vince Vaughn gives it a good try though but Anne Heche taking over for Janet Leigh? Really? They couldn’t find anybody else?
